CLANDESTINE BULLYING; Thoughts on spiritual nakedness.

Not so long ago there was a young LDS woman who posted a full frontal naked photos of herself (she had skin coloured nickers) revealing extensive damage and scars she received after undergoing life saving surgery for her cancer. For days I was bombarded with these images on my FB page as mutual friends "Liked"  and "Shared" her images, sometimes multiple times a day. The first time I saw the images I was shocked that she would think that others were interested in seeing her body, now disfigured with enormous scars where her breasts used to be.

 

After three days of this I requested that I be excluded from the lists when "Liking" or "Sharing" the post and included instructions on how to do this. I was mindful to be sensitive not to reveal who the post was referring to other than saying that there was a post of a naked woman being shared that I don't want to see and could you please ensure that I am not included when sharing it. There were a few comments on my post that agreed it shouldn't be on FB, obviously they had seen it too.  Whoa, then the mother posted a most aggressive and attacking argument.  She was furious and interpreted my request as a personal attack then publicly told me off and unfriended me. I read later that over 100 people had been unfriended by both mother and daughter for objecting to these images. I'm not going to discuss the contradiction or ambiguity of their rights to publish naked images over my rights to not see them - that is another story for another time maybe - probably not.

However, it seems that apparently the Woman's Day or Woman's Weekly or some tabloid offered her money for her story, the Cancer Foundation pounced on her to use her images in their advertising as well as some TV show wanting to tell her story - or so I was told. The world thrives on such sensationalism and I felt a twinge of concern that this elevation to celebrity status would not fair well on her later on down the track as her children grow and witness these images - they may not recognise the intent she had when she published them. And knowing the media market as I do, their interests would not be rooted in concern for her survival of a traumatic event(s) but rather driven by how much money and public interest can be drawn from this and how much money will it bring in?

Disturbing to me, I now read that this young woman has been asked to speak at an LDS women's conference to be held at the Sutherland Entertainment Centre and is sponsored by an LDS book shop from Brisbane - clearly she has become a celebrity within the church membership. What message is this sending our youth - that naked photos of themselves are okay so long as they are done professionally and are to show disfigurement and scars?

Today I read the following letter from a non-LDS father to his young daughter:- “The world wants you to take your clothes off. Please keep them on. But take your gloves off. Pull no punches. Say what is in your heart. Be vulnerable. Embrace risk. Love a world that barely knows what it means to love itself. Do so nakedly. Openly. With abandon.”

Could not this young woman have put her point of view across (whatever that is because it is unclear to me why she even did it) in a way that was not repulsive or confrontational?  Would it not have been better to demonstrate to women undergoing the same tragedy how they can still look beautiful after it all?  Frankly, if I were a young beautiful woman having to face the prospect of ending up with the scars and disfigurements that these images depict I think I would be tempted to forego surgery. 

I'm not without compassion - it must have been an extremely difficult time for her family, loved ones and friends - and it is a miracle and blessing that she is around to tell the tale. It is in the telling that I find disturbing.

We do not need to show our scars - we all have them. Instead of exposing our nakedness to others, including spiritual nakedness, we could focus on the lessons learnt and the blessings that have come. Share our strengths and testify of the Lord's goodness in healing us, the marvels of science and the wonderful staff who walked through it all not to mention supportive family and friends. The blessings from the Holy Ghost for his constant companionship and guidance, the amazing way that our Heavenly Father maintains close vigil as we walk through the many trials and tribulations that are inherent in our mortal experience.

Maintaining dignity and respecting our bodies through modesty in both externally and internally will mean we never need be ashamed. I have been guilty of this from time to time. Forcing our woes on others can cause feelings of discomfort and in it's own way, may even seem intimidating, like in these images. When I rejected them I was bullied for doing so.  My point of view opposed theirs - therefore I needed to be publicly humiliated and unfriended. Bullies try to make everyone else as miserable as they are; when we share our woes, are we sharing our misery? Are we wanting others to feel the pain that we feel? There is only one person that I know of who can make us feel better, who has shared our sorrows and has the ability to take away our pain - and he is only a prayer away.

We don't need to force anybody to see our point of view - even tragic ones.  Now I think I understand why people returning from war don't share their stories - they have dignity and respect. They don't want to put others through what they have been forced to endure. Perhaps this is true humility - true heroism.  The Saviour offers his hands and side not to freak us out - not to get points or to show off.  He exhorts the blessings and teachings of heaven, he doesn't dwell on his experiences in Gethsemane although, who could blame him right? 

Following his example let us keep our clothes on, let us share the lessons learnt rather than the lesson lived - keeping that for those closest. From here on in I will make the effort not to discuss the attacks or the attackers but rather what the Lord did to protect, guide and lead me through it and what I have learned as a result. I will not glorify or make myself a celebrity or hero by acknowledging the scars but rather I will cover my nakedness and not be ashamed. The lessons in the Garden of Eden are becoming clearer the longer I live in this mortality - let us all cover our nakedness with the shield of faith in our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

Gethsemane by Carl Bloch
I took the Angel's wings out. In a very real way, we can "mourn with those who mourn and comfort those who need comfort" - we are angels - all of us.